salt

When you are wounded and bleeding it's always nice when someone comes along and rubs in some salt. No?

F*ck f*cking coworkers.
I have 3 counterparts in other offices. One is on mat leave. She gave birth on my husbands birthday. The second, let's call him Wally, is expecting any day now and feels compelled to send me emails everyday to remind me of this fact.
And, who gets to takeover the extra workload while these two are off on leave?

Here are excerpts from the 4 emails I received from ass-shat Wally in the past 2 days.

Hi everyone,
As you know I am going to become a Dad in January, so I will be taking a couple of weeks off to celebrate. Nina has agreed to field all questions related to project X which come up during that month....

Hi Mark,
Nina has graciously offered to take over the X Project
while I am off this January with my new family. Please copy her on all correspondence with regards to this project.....

Hi folks,
As you know, Nina is going to be handling the management of Project X for most of January while I’m off being sleep-deprived with my new son. Should this project not be completed prior to my running-away......

Happy New Year J!
I don’t have that information handy. I have copied this email on to Nina. My wife is due to give birth within the next few days so Nina has graciously offered to cover this project. I am confident that she can get you the information you need.

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For the record Wally, you insensitive moron, I did NOT 'offer graciously' to do your f@cking work while you are away with your 'new family'. I had no choice.
And
In the coming weeks don't you dare flood my Inbox with pictures of your newborn.

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update!
Not 1 but 6 photos have just arrived by email!
My director called asking i) would I like to coordinate a gift purchase? (I declined) ii) could I put $50 towards the gift? (of course, I would be happy to) and iii) shouldn't we also buy a gift for J who had given birth just 2 weeks ago. It's her second, but we wouldn't want anyone to feel left out. Yeah...right. Then we had a lovely conversation about what the gifts could be, debated the merits of giftcards vs. clothes vs. toys.
How does that stapler in jelly trick work?

hanging on

I am hurt, but I am n0t slain;
I’ll lay me d0wn and bleed a while,
And then 1’ll rise and fight again.