tomorrow

Here's the plan for tomorrow as outlined in this email from my doctor, typos and all.

"Dear N, had a nice talk with dr. NY - he recommends 1) remove L tube if possible (clip if too surgically challenging due to previous scar) 2) drain or remove endometrioma --he cited cases of elevated FSH that returned to normal after removal of bilateral endometriomas --? due to better ovarian functioning due to improved blood flow?? 3) Leave right tuba alone if normal -no concern about embryos staying in a normal right tube after transfer --remove of clip if right hydrosalpinx. D"

Now that I've made it through the bookclub meeting I AM anxious about tomorrow.
I know that it's just a routine, out-patient procedure.
I've requested that a friend of mine be the anaesthetist and my doctor is a careful surgeon. I know I'm in good hands.
The thing is, I'm getting flashbacks to 3 years ago, when I went to the hospital for a 'routine lap' and woke up hours later with 25 staples across my abdomen and minus an ovary.

Once they take a look inside who knows what they'll find and what they'll decide to do. I really don't want to wake up without any tubes. I wish there was a way they could wake me up half way through the procdure & say, "okay, here's what we've got...what would you like us to do?".
I want to hang onto one tube, even if it comprimises future IVF success, just to have that tiny sliver hope that one day a miracle could happen? Is that silly?

Hope. Hanging by a tiny thread of a tube.