Sunday, December 11, 2005

Dear Santa, I have been good

Dear Santa,

I have been good this past year.
I have eaten all my vegetables.
I have brushed my teeth every morning and every night.
I have flossed everyday sometimes.
I have been been kind to my in-laws, my parents and my siblings.
I have been nice to my friends and co-workers. . I have tried to be nice to most of my friends and co-workers, but it's hard when they keep talking about their kids, and insist on bringing their newborns to work. But I have really really tried.
I have taken my vitamins, supplements, and snakeoil everyday.
I have never once complained (maybe once...okay more than once) about the ultrasounds, the blood tests, the injections, the disappointing results.
I have paid all my credit cards on time, even the ones that show charges of thousands of dollars from a clinic for services I never received.
I have donated to charities, and given spare change to the homeless.
I have been friendly to my neighbours- even the one who filed a complaint against us for building a fence on our own property.
I have gone to work everyday- even when I awoke with puffy eyes from having spent the night crying, even on the days when I wanted to sleep forever. And I have spent most of my workdays actually working, and only surfed the web during lunch hour. Honest.
I have been good to my husband (I know he would like me to be 'good' to him 4 or 5 times a week, but 2 or 3 is all I can manage for now).
I am pretty sure I have not been slothful, lustful, gluttonous, or greedy. And believe me, any pride I had has been poked and prodded into submission.

Envy? Anger? I can't deny those, but I am trying hard not to be angry and envious all the time. Does that count?

So I think, Santa, that I qualify for your 'nice' list this year.

To make things easy for you, I am only asking for one thing this year.
Could I please have a baby?
No toys, no clothes, no books, no candy.
Just one healthy baby. Please.

Santa, I was good last year too, and the year before, but you didn't bring me my present (and yes, I've been asking for the same thing every year). Perhaps you didn't get my letters? Perhaps there was a mix-up, or perhaps you were too busy giving babies to other familes. Because you see, I know many people who already have a baby or two and this past year they received another. I even know people who didn't ask for a baby and still received one.
So, Santa, maybe this year you could check your list thrice instead of twice, just to make sure you've got the right presents going to the right people.
It's not like I'm asking for a rocketship or a pony, or world peace. Now that would be hard. This baby thing should be easy- everybody's got one. Can it be my turn now?

I'm the brown girl in the red brick house on the snowy street in Smallhicktown Canada. We have installed a new fireplace, so please don't use that "you have no chimney" thing as an excuse.

Your friend,

P.S. I really hope I don't have to send you this letter again next year.


At 2:29 AM, Blogger Sparkle said...

Hi Nina,
Found you via Lut.C.
I'm sorry to read about what you've been thru - it's not dissimilar to me.
It's funny how we think this is all some big punishment for everything we've done wrong. Also Christmas tends to make us realise we don't have a baby to bring to the family get together.
I'm glad now that at least I can write all this stuff down and not let it fester the way it used to. I'll keep reading and hoping things go right for you.

At 12:11 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Heartbreaking and true. I hope you get your present this year, too.

At 11:02 AM, Blogger zhl said...

Can I just copy your letter and change a few of the key details, like my address and appearance?

And um, the part about making your husband happy 2-3 times a week? My husband is not that lucky, hee hee.

At 4:13 PM, Blogger Lut C. said...

I have not been very good this year.
I have been hiding from my in-laws, especially the PG SILs.
I have been nice to most of my co-workers, except the one that annoys me.
I haven't taken my vitamins, except on a few optimistic days.
I have second-guessed everything my doctor has suggested.
I haven't done my work with the enthusiasm of a year ago.

But Santa, you of all people should know that babies aren't handed out according to the merit system. I see proof of this nearly every day.
So I'm dying to know what your excuse is for the delay.

At 10:57 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh sweetie, I'm sorry you've had to write this letter again. You have such grace in the face of adversity. bloody santa, you just know he's not paying attention.

At 11:32 AM, Blogger Pamplemousse said...

Nina, you are breaking my heart!!


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